how i found pat the peacock

There I was driving down this country road on a photo shoot in central Kansas, minding my own business, when this gangly looking peacock appears out of nowhere blocking the road.

pat on the road

pat on the road

Hmmm, I thought to myself.. “Now, this is an odd sight.”  I quickly slid out of the car and said to the bird, “hey Mister peacock, what on earth are you doing in central Kansas?”  The peacock says to me, he says, “my name is Pat.”  “Oh,” I say, “my apologies Pat, so what gives? How did you find your way here.”  “Well, Mister Man,” he says. I interrupted, “uh, Pat, my name is Eli.”  “Oh, I meant no offense,” Pat said – “none taken,” I replied.  He continued, “Well, Eli, as I was saying, the very last thing I remember was being at home in China.  When I awoke the next day, I found myself in that roadside ditch,” he said pointing a tail feather to the north side of the road, “and this guy was driving down the road, yelling – Ronnie, that voodoo’s gonna get you.” “That’s odd,” I said, “tell me about it,” Pat replied.  “No, I mean, I wonder why was he talking about Reagan in 2009,” I muttered as my thoughts turned into words.  “What’s a Reagan,” Pat asked?  “Oh, never mind” I said.   We chatted a little longer.  He seemed to be a fine peacock.  Finally, I told Pat I must move on, that I had work to do.  We wished each other well and went our separate ways.  

pat hiding in the roadside ditch

pat hiding in the roadside ditch

I continued on with my location scouting, waiting for the good light to work it’s magic, when Pat jumped up onto a nearby hay bale.  “Whoa Pat, you scared me.. man, you move fast,” I said.  “Thanks!  My wings are solid,” Pat beamed as he strutted back and forth across the bale.  “What type of work are you doing out here anyway,” he inquired?  “I’m a photographer,” I said.  “Really!  People pay you to shoot pictures,” Pat asked?  “Well, yes,” I said, “though not quite as much as they used to.”  “Why’s that,” Pat asked?  “I think a lot of it has to do with the downturn in our economy,” I said.. “what’s an economy,” Pat inquired, trying to act truly interested.. “You know Pat, a lot of people are asking that very same question these days,” I remarked.  I tried my best to explain in simple peacock terms the premise of how wealth is created by the basic exchange of goods and services, until it appeared Pat understood the concept.  I saw no need to bother explaining ‘derivatives,’ since my best guess is these will soon fall out of vogue in favor of a newly designed financing “instrument.”  I qualified my comments with the caveat that there’s a lot of transition underway and no one is quite sure of the outcome just yet.  

pat preening on the hay bale

pat preening on the hay bale

“Well, Pat, I’ve enjoyed visiting with you this afternoon, but I really must get to work,” I said.  “Truth is,” Pat continued, “it’s kinda lonely out here.. none of the other birds will talk to me.  And occasionally people walk around pointing these long sticks at me.  Loud noises come from them and if I don’t move quick enough, something pokes holes in my tail feathers.  Here, see for yourself,” he said fanning his feathers for inspection.  “Frankly, I don’t feel safe out here anymore.. although the countryside is really pretty.  Anyway, would you take me home with you,” he pleaded?

Pat enjoying the hills of central Kansas

pat enjoying the hills of central Kansas

“Ah geez, Pat, I don’t know.  I already have dogs, my house is very small and I’m not sure my neighbors would like having a peacock running around,” I said.  Pat persisted, “I’m really quiet and quite clean and from what I understand most people find me beautiful to look at.  Just looking at me seems to help make them feel calm and happier.  I think people need a little more beauty and little less strife, don’t you?”

Funny I thought, how a simple bird can make such perfect sense during turbulent times.. peace and beauty equals happiness.. a refreshing reminder of lasting values.  At last I relented, “okay, but, if you poop or pee in the car one time, I’m dropping you off at the nearest dumpster!”  “I’ll be good,” Pat promised.  “Super!  Now please be quiet, so I can get some work done,” I said.  And off we went.

me telling pat not to poop or pee in the car..

me telling pat not to poop or pee in the car..

And that’s the story of how Pat the Peacock moved from the hills of central kansas to suburbia… THE END.

ps- all pictures were shot with the iPhone, which of course, is made in China.  But, which I had purchased before I met Pat, who was actually made by an artist living in Clay Center, KS:)


2 thoughts on “how i found pat the peacock

  1. a concerned citizen for the protection of turkey and peacock civil rights on said:

    To Pat-T-Hurst: you’ve been brainwashed, but there’s hope for recovery. The Institute for the Protection of Turkey and Peacock Civil Rights, PLLP, was established to shelter, defend, and advocate for misguided, befuddled birds like yourself, birds in need of protection from would-be predators masking as protectorates like the bird-brained ‘ographer who lured you into his lair. Pat-T, just tweat twice and a representative will contact you. Meanwhile, good luck and god speed at the heathen haunts of suburban Kansas.

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